Healthy Spicy Life

You Are Who You Are, Wherever You Are Next Stop Udupi, India Part 2

2012-02-27T22:19:00.026-05:00

We were presented the option to visit Elephanta Caves (Elephant Island), ruins from the 7th Century. Pretty much everyone was on board with going and we set out after an early morning breakfast. Crossing the streets by foot in Mumbai is no different from playing a human game of Frogger. Remembering to look both ways is key because cars are coming from the opposite direction than we're used to and from every direction possible. There are no friendly reminders on the sidewalks like in London noting which way to look before crossing. Best be on high alert when out and about or you will find yourself splat out, game over.


Shiva

If Cliff made notes on his notes, here's what he would have written on the Elephanta Caves,"Shortly before the Elephanta temples were created, Bombay had experienced the golden age of the late Guptas, under whom the arts flourished. Sanskrit had been finely polished, and Kalidasa and other writers had helped incite a Hindu religious revival under the court's liberal patronage. Shaivism, the worship of Shiva, inspired the building of these temples." This was lifted from the link above if you want to read more, you know where to go.

Cave Dancing

An hour long ferry ride drops you off on a jetty which one traverses to reach the main island. If I fail to mention the kirtan led by Gaura Vani Aks during the ferry shuttles, I would be cheating the whole experience of visiting the caves. Kirtan (devotional singing) opens your heart and your mind as well as connects you to the people who are singing with you. What better way to prepare for stepping foot on preserved ancient land which also looked like it could be a great location to shoot the next Indiana Jones movie. Sita Ram, Sita Raaaamm, Lakshman Hanuman, Lakshman Hanuman.

Every day is a day with possibilities wherever you are. On ancient land in India or in your home. How open you are to possibilities is up to you. Your projector or lens through which you experience life makes all the difference. You can be anywhere and have a great day or a crappy day. Something new and exciting can be perceived as new and exciting just as it can be seen as new and scary. Something familiar can be viewed as comfortable and calming or old hat and boring. This is your mind and how you see the world. Is the world coming at you or are you going into the world? Do you find yourself saying, "Well he did that to me, and that's why I am miserable" or "If none of these doctor's can fix it then who can"? How does one take "The world is coming at me" view to "I can make a difference in this world" point of view?

The only place to start is with yourself. Change can only happen if you take action. We've all heard about journeys and paths. This is the road to making lasting changes in your life. On this proverbial road you will find love, compassion, joy, discipline, truth, ethics and hard work. Choosing your path is part of the journey and part of the homework to self discovery and healing. You will still be you. You can't escape you, but how you see the world, how your mind works, will change. Possible new questions will be, "How can I help you?" or "What do you need?" instead of "I am hungry. I am hot. I am thirsty." Because you've already worked on self, you know you have all that you need, you come from a place of abundance rather than deprivation. You can let go of poverty mentality and be of service to others. This is the shift.

The intention of a pilgrimage (yatra) is to visit holy and sacred places associated with Hindu epics like The Mahabarata or Ramayana. I chose this yatra lead by Raghunath Cappo because I felt connected to him and his teachings. I wanted to experience India through his experiences, teachers and offerings. This is how teachings are passed on. As we were promised pre-voyage, on our first day, copies of The Mahabarata (about a 3 lb hard cover book) were purchased for 500 rupes ($9) and distributed. We were assigned readings throughout the yatra. Honestly it was hard to keep up with the readings with all the travel, connecting with the other yogis, getting some sleep, and in general having an awesome, stimulating time. Thankfully Raghu is a master story teller.

Finally after 10 years of wanting to see India, how I would experience the Motherland for the first time became clear. I had to plan nearly a year in advance to make it happen. Incredibly, within the week that I decided to go on the pilgrimage, my amazing client said she wanted to donate flyer miles to me for when I decide to go to India. I had never mentioned before wanting to go or India for that matter. She intuitively knew. When you are clear with your intentions, and your intentions are grounded in basic goodness, the seas start to part.


Radha-Kunda Das photo courtesy of Micheal Dehni

We had three nights and two days in Mumbai then off we were to the next destination Udupi in the state of Karnataka. There is something really nice about letting others take charge of the itinerary. I never knew what time the flights were, or the train, or when things were scheduled. What time I needed to be when and where were instructed by Radha-Kunda Das (the "a" at the end of Kunda is silent) the man in charge of all travel, reservations, meals, bookings, etc. Radha-Kunda just may be the most amazing man in robes I will ever meet. More to come on that.

A huge glowing red sunrise greeted us at the airport. Had I not been going through security check and keeping track of my ticket, passport and carryon, I would have taken a photo of the best sunrise of the trip and perhaps that I have seen thus far in my life. I took the opportunity to meditate for a half hour while waiting to depart. You are who you are wherever you are.

You Are Here. Mumbai, India Part 1

2012-02-15T16:28:00.095-05:00

Radhe Radhe !!! photo credit: Michael Denhi

Sensation overload is to be expected upon arriving in an Indian airport. For some reason I thought I would step out of the plane and be assaulted by smells and sights foreign to my current catalog of sense memories. This did not happen. Perhaps because deplaning is pretty much the same everywhere, we prod along single file, some sort of hand bag or luggage over shoulder and sometimes pulling a wheeled bag, I found myself following the familiar sounds of other wheeley bags hypnotically guiding us through customs, then the luggage carousels and out through the no-return exit doors. So far, same as any other foreign country arrival. Hearing Raghu's voice call my name snapped me into reality. I am in Mumbai, Jai Ma! Raghunath Cappo, an incredible human being who happens to be a yoga teacher, organized this pilgrimage (yatra). About 30 of us signed up for this journey. Apparently my flight arrived early. A crew of about 20 had already gathered from other flights that had come in and they were waiting for a few more. It always seems like magic greeting someone at the airport as they walk through the guarded exit doors, forbidden to re-enter, there they are, a newly birthed person from the flight of a lifetime. Any flight, every time. It seemed Raghu had greeted me just as that, a miracle to have made it, as every life is a miracle, and here in the Motherland of India, I was blessed to have arrived. My luggage was in tact and with me. I was in tact and with me, too.

the first of many hairsplitting rides

After most of us arrived, we took cabs in groups of four to Hotel Shalimar. I don't remember the other passengers squished in next to me other than Raghu who sat in the front, bubbling with stories and enthusiasm. Most of the flights arrived between 11:00 PM and 2:00 AM. By the time I settled in at the hotel, paired with a roommate and made it horizontal it was 2:00 AM and we had a 5:30 AM call time for yoga if we wanted to attend. Let the 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night for two weeks begin!

Raghu set us up in a nice hotel by anyone's standards let alone a New Yorker who is used to certain comforts of home like, let's say, toilet paper. We take having rolls of TP in the cabinet for granted and spend a fortune on it to boot. One double roll of Charmin pack of four would cost 225 Rupees. This is expensive and luxurious. Just so we can get on the same page with the Rupee vs. the US dollar, a 15 minute cab ride in Mumbai, a major city, is 50 to 70 Rupees which in NYC would be about 600 Rupee. I need to reevaluate my toilet paper consumption. The Mumbai hotel was the only place we stayed where toilet paper was supplied upon arrival. I had been warned to bring TP and Kleenex packets so I was prepared for the less cushy hotel situation. Bidets seemed to replace TP in most bathrooms, public or private.


Raghu and Lauren

Our first full day, and boy was it a full day, after yoga and breakfast, we headed to Radhanath Swami's ashram which I still can't tell you the name of but I could show you how to walk there from the hotel. We were greeted warmly and joined the hundreds of people already seated, plucking flower petals for the ceremony that evening. We sat for satsang with Radhanath Swami and sang kirtan while we separated soft petals from the hard buds (they hurt when they are thrown at you which turns out to be part of the celebration - it's all fun and games 'til someone loses an eye or in Lauren's case develops an allergic reaction to all the flowers. She handled it quite well.) Flower plucking to lunch, and then Fabindia for some fab celebratory clothes. I'm not going to lie here, I was very excited to shop on the first day of this 2 week spiritual journey. Once again, Raghu is a smart man. He knows his audience. Sensory overload had finally arrived. Millions of flowers over head, under foot, and on the walls, incense everywhere, cars honking (I'll put money on it's India's national past time - it's written on the back of most trucks and cars "Blow Horn"). Good God, we fine you here for that kind on nonsense. I have totally new respect for Indian cab drivers in NYC. I now know where they're coming from - a game of chicken with everything else that's on the road; cows, carts, pigs, dogs, monkeys, elephants (yes, I saw 2 cruising along), people big and small, rickshaws, motorcycles, bicycles, cabs, cars, trucks, minivans ... did I forget anything?


Kaustuba - such a sport

We kind of went bananas at Fabindia. What's a kurta? 3/4 sleeve or full? And the Ali-baba pants vs. the salwar vs. churidars (weird looking leggings that go to your waist and can accommodate a full bladder and labonza.) And all the different scarf names and sizes! Dupattas, shawls, and stoles, oh my! Come to find out, Fabindia is holding out on chudders. A whole new drapey-wrap-wear I'll discover later on down the road. After testing the patience of our incredible guides and teachers, a Kaustuba and Gitapriya for over an hour with our fashion questions, we went back to the hotel, barely had time to shower, change and head back over to the ashram. All Fabindiasized, we were ready to celebrate.

I had never been showered by hundreds of flower petals let alone 2 tons of them until January 28, 2012. This particular celebration was started about 15 years ago by Radhanath Swami to celebrate Krishna. There are lots of Krishna celebrations. I don't know the exact name of this one, so I'm going with Flowers for Hours for Krishna. No doubt, in less than 24 hours after stepping foot in India, I was experiences new sights, sounds, scents and all the things that I dreamed would happen in the country recently marketed as "Incredible India". Totally get it! Incredible indeed and this was just the beginning.

after this posted, this link was sent to me. insane flower fight!
http://www.radhanathswamivideo.com/music/pushya-abhishek-dancing-kirtan-radhanath-swami

Healthy Spicy Life Newsletter

2012-01-04T08:06:00.002-05:00

Healthy Spicy Life Jan/Feb 2012

Astrologer and Buddhist Priest Lawrence Grecco, 7 Foods The Experts Won't Eat, Warrior 2 and more!

Namaste

December Newsletter

2011-12-03T12:21:00.003-05:00

Healthy Spicy Life Newsletter

Yogini Julie Hollander, Vitamin D from sunlight to supplementation, metta meditation and look for "Society" performed by Eddie Vedder and Johnny Depp

Healthy Spicy Life Newsletter

2011-11-06T20:17:00.002-05:00

November Newsletter

Post Thanksgiving twists, Metta meditation practice, So Deb, Will You Occupy My Life?

So Deb, Will You Occupy My Life?

2011-10-19T23:02:00.000-04:00

Wednesdays I teach Mommy/Baby Yoga class at The 14^th Street Y in Manhattan. This particular rainy, wind whipping Wednesday, my core group of devoted moms strolled in with the little ones and we were more philosophical and chatty than usual. I encouraged an open forum to talk about lifestyle and meditation, while we mindfully added in some yoga stretches here and there. A full weekend of Dharma Teacher Training with The InterdependenceProject followed by on organized meditation at Occupy Wall Street this past Sunday, incited some juicy conversation including what to do about mouse droppings in your cabinets and how can one find equanimity in that situation?

One of the moms commented how her 6 month-old daughter is always calm in yoga class, but can be, well, more like a baby in some of the others. I can contest to this. I’ve never seen Naomi cry in the 3 months that she’s been coming, or baby Ken for that matter. Babies do cry in my yoga class, but it doesn’t escalate into an all out scream fest where they are all in a state of panic. Babies have empathy and that’s why if one baby continues to cry without soothing, others join in because it’s their only way of notifying someone to help out the distressed one and then they all get distressed. Interesting, huh? Moms said they like the music whether it’s Jack Johnson, Krishna Das or easy listening 70s, we cultivate a calmness that the babies vibe. We do this by paying attention to the breath, body, and opening to a more relaxed state of being.

Deb and baby Dom have been coming to class for a couple of months quite regularly. Every mom always expresses how just getting out of the house, even on stormy days, is a good thing. They are grateful to be at their yoga class, meeting new friends and the babies get some chill time. I work more with the moms getting back in touch with their bodies and they are free to feed, change diapers, do whatever it is they need to do while in class. It’s yoga after all. I am there to help cultivate some balance in a new mom’s hectic life. At the end of class, we interact with the babies. A real crowd pleaser is tree pose, holding the baby in standing position and drawing one leg up. It really looks cute, especially with a bare tushy, which happens on occasion. The class is for infants up to a year old and then they outgrow the class. Moms experience lots of transitions and I do my best to talk about letting go. There’s a sweetness and a sadness to aging. Every parent’s wish is to see their child grow up and live a beautiful, healthy life. But in order to get there, you have to let the “baby” go.

During our many subjects we touched on, we arrived at Deb beaming that she just got engaged on Sunday to Brian, Dom’s daddy. She said marriage was going to happen at some point, but they weren’t in a rush. The ring needs sizing so she doesn’t wear it on the traditional left ring finger. She held up her hand for all to see. We oohed, and then she told us Brian bought it from an antiques jeweler. Though she didn’t really need a ring at all, she loves the one he found for her. She said they have an amazing relationship and went on to tell us how he proposed … at Occupy Wall Street. Her fiancé is political activist and they have been to OWS on other occasions, so this past Sunday, she was completely surprised when he started his proposal with, “Mic check”, initiating the Human Microphone. Deb went on to say that the proposal has become somewhat of an unexpected sensation on Twitter and YouTube. She’s been fielding all kinds of comments supportive and jibing. All of the attention is completely unexpected.

Yoga class was just about over, and I have a handy dandy iPhone, so I asked if we should watch the video. Of course the ladies wanted to see the marriage proposal. It’s exciting getting engaged and we wanted to share in Deb’s glow. Brian is one romantic cat. To propose in front of a community of activists as well as close friends, and have them involved in the experience as part of the Human Microphone is way cool. I experienced the Human Microphone system for the first time, first hand that same Sunday. Words roll through the crowd. One has to pause in between thoughts and their next spoken words to be heard. Others have to pause to listen in order to repeat what they just heard. It’s fantastic. Brian’s process of having to slow down to profess his love, asking for a commitment to marry (occupy his life), and to be heard, really heard by Deb is extraordinary and beautiful beyond words. Using the words, “Will you occupy my life?”, as a way of asking someone to marry, I see becoming an alternative way of expressing sharing your life with someone. Brian went big with freedom of expression, took a risk, and this certainly expresses their lifestyle, their values and how they choose to occupy this life as they know it with each other and baby Dom. Things are happening down at OWS little bits at a time. If someone were to ask me what Brian asked Deb, I’d probably say, “Now you’re speaking my language.”

Congratulations Deb, Brian and Dom!!!

October Newsletter 2011

2011-10-03T08:54:00.001-04:00

Healthy Spicy Life

Baja Yoga and Meditation retreat with Ethan Nichtern,
Food focus fiber, yummy veg chili and more!

Healthy Spicy Life September 2011

2011-09-01T12:22:00.000-04:00

September Issue is here!

Yogini Jen Guarnieri, learn about natural sweeteners,

gratitude meditation, half moon yoga pose, and more!

Here I Go Again

2011-07-15T11:55:00.001-04:00

Spiritual Whitesnake

Breaking up sucks, but walkovers and Whitesnake can help ease the pain.

July Newsletter

2011-07-10T14:03:00.001-04:00

Healthy Spicy Life

Grains vs. Gluten, interview with Yogi Raghunath, gratitude meditation and more!

June Newsletter

2011-06-07T10:40:00.002-04:00

Healthy Spicy Life

Maybelle walks on water, what about greens?, the meditation practice of Metta, Shambhala Mountain Center retreat in July

10 Articles I Want To Write Before I Die

2011-05-26T17:29:00.000-04:00

Notes from post-its, notebooks and scrap paper.

1) I Won’t Eat That Stuff, But I’ll Feed It To My Kids

Exhibit A: Fluffernutter sandwich on Wonder Bread with the crusts cut off. One of my friends said, “I won’t eat it, but the kids like it.” She also said that if she didn’t give it to her kids, other moms would. I have much to say about this, but perhaps until I have children of my own, I shouldn’t be on my high horse.
Please do not defend this “food” with a cry that at least it’s vegan.
Why Your Children Will be Sicker Than You

2) Are We Too Domesticated?

… Little Boxes On The Hillside …

3) Why I Like Younger Men (Alternate Title: Does Age Really Matter? A Proud Cougar)

One doesn’t have to get too deep about this, but I have thought about it. I can pretty much say I have dated younger men since my mid 20s, I am now 42. The age gap is widening, I am still dating men in their 20s and loving it! My girlfriends in their 20s say they wouldn’t date the men I do because they are artists (read unstable). Great! Less competition.

4) AA Got You Sober, But Now You’re Hooked On Caffeine, Cigarettes, Adderall, Ambien, Red Bull and You’re Still A Mess … I Know, I Know … You Can’t Mediate So I Won’t Ask You To Try. (Alternative Title: Does Sobriety = Clarity?)

I can spot the speedy, unsettled mind “sober” people from a mile away. Or when they feel compelled to strike up conversations with me by asking if I am a friend of Bill’s while I am meditating riding a subway car. No, I am not a friend of Bill’s, or at least THAT Bill. Perhaps my year and half involvement with a “sober” person opened my eyes and heart to many things.

5) How It Really Works – Living a Conscious Life or Living a Compulsive Life Co-written with Dr. Miles Neale
I love listening to Miles Neale live or on podcasts. What I have learned from him is that it really comes down to karma and how you choose to live your life. Miles asked me write about this topic with him and this is what I have thus far …
Have a look at the chart and then ask yourself, “Self … which cycle do I want to live in?” These are the choices according to The Buddha and the yogi texts of Patanjali.
I am going to put it in layman’s terms.
Behind door #1, the Compulsive Life of Samsara, which so happens to be surrounded by stacks of money, a fancy sports car, some Barbie Doll looking chicks, a shopping spree at Barneys, we’ll even throw in a case of Red Bull and Chopin vodka, if that’s the vodka en Vogue these days. What if you could dine at Mario Batali’s Babbo every day for free or eat pizza, cookies and have soda for breakfast lunch and dinner with no side effects? OK, we’d meditate longer if we could have Babbo for free every day. Just kidding, sort of.

6) How Is It When A Butterfly Flaps Its Wings In China It Is Felt Around The World? Impossible!

Answer? Bueller, Bueller, anyone?

7) Sitting In A Hot Shrine Tent Is Good For You (Alternate Title: Why Would Someone Spend $1,700 To Sit In A Hot Shrine Tent In Silence For Four Days As A Vacation?)

This is the lovely shrine tent at the Shambhala Mountain Center in CO.
June 30 – July 5 you will find me sitting on one of these cushions.
I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything.
Sad Joy sitting with three archaryas.

8 ) Darn It! I Missed Barneys New York Friends and Family Day – Get Purple Points, So I Can Shop More! How Could This Happen To Me?!?

I like to reference Barneys NY and I would be an absolute hypocrite if I said I didn’t like Barneys. But when is enough, enough? Give up constantly going for more.
The Yamas can help you with this I want more, craving thing.
All I Want For Christmas is Samadhi

9) Less IS More

10) Guilt VS Remorse
Guilt says I am bad. Remorse says I am sorry.

And if I had all the time in the world, not really article worthy, just baffling …
11) How Is It That You Passed Your Driver’s Test And Are Allowed To Drive?

Flight Club

2011-04-12T23:42:00.009-04:00

To see rain 3 days in a row is unusual for LA in March. Even though I was on vacation, I didn’t mind the rain.

Day 3 of my itinerary looked liked this: yoga, Khalsa (a healer), dinner with my super fun friend, and then … shall we say … a nightcap.

I was excited to be me! First thing in the morning, I went to Yogis Anonymous to take class with Krista Cahill. I had researched her classes and watched on YouTube the craziness that goes on there. Well, it looked kind of crazy to me. I practice yoga, but not this flying stuff. Some of these asanas will knock you off your asana. Out I went from Marina Del Rey where I was staying to Santa Monica in the wind and rain to try and fly. This flying term is something that’s been going around for a number of years though I’d never heard of it when I started practicing what seems like 100 years ago. “Flying” kind of looks more like gymnastic, but if you add some pranayama, Lulu Lemon wear, and a yoga mat, then it’s called yoga.

About 10 minutes into the class, I realized that I needed to work on my handstand game if you will. My handstand is wishy-washy. I can’t count on it.* And my hands feel like they are glued to the floor. Instead of trying to move my hands to gather balance, I flip over. I came to fly, not flip. Flipping I know all too well. My handstand feels stagnant and stuck to me. I arrive and descend the same way. I lift one leg at time, left leg then right, try and find balance and then I am tired, and done. I thought I was in the habit of switching my kicking leg to balance out, but I have clearly favored one side for so many years and fatigued before I switched sides that the balance the sides thing out never happened. I do what is easiest and most likely to produce the results I want – a handstand I can hold. Huh, now there’s something to look in to. This is why I practice yoga, for the life lessons. In this case I need to investigate what needs balancing in my life. Just investigate, not fix. What happens on my mat is what happens in my life off the mat. Lessons are learned on that sweaty, sticky mat. This is very exciting and only something that can be understood and felt by actually doing it.

There is no post yoga affects pill. Thank God!
*Side bar here, I don’t need to count on my handstand. It’s a handstand. Handstands are fun and playful and fatiguing and juicy and well, the list goes on. I take it in stride.*

I love to have fun in a yoga class. If I fall, I fall. Of course a mindful yogi notices her surroundings before she attempts a pose that has potential for going awry so that she doesn’t kick someone in the head. We don’t go to yoga class for that – to be kicked or to kick someone. Know you space upside down, too.

Gratitude to Krista Cahill, she has a new fan. The class sequencing flowed even when I floundered, and though the pace was faster than I’ve experienced in a long time, it felt good. I loved her play list – Led Zep and Bon Iver come to mind. Completely humbled, I decided to go back and take her class again. Two great classes, great atmosphere, great teacher, I caught the bug to learn to fly.

Back in NYC where I live, my instincts told me to check out Kula Yoga Project if I wanted to learn to fly. Lo and behold on the class schedule I found Raghunath’s Flight School. Luckily for me, he teaches two classes at Kula a week at a time that works with my schedule. Woo hoo, flight school in the spring! Here I come!

So far I have been to 3 classes and body is aching all over. How much lactic acid can muscles produce any way? Geez, it’s not like I don’t use my body every day to teach. When I feel a muscle group saying hello to me, I try and name at least a couple muscles and think of their actions. It’s been a good anatomy review actually.

Raghunath said I’d be flying in no time. Even if this isn’t true, I am devoted to going to his class. Raghunath has a wonderful energy, makes me laugh and besides we all need a yoga teacher named Raghunath. Did I mention he plays the harmonium throughout class? So fun!!! Total dork yoga class humor here, but a phone was ringing, no less it was coming from his bag and he asked, “Who put their phone in my bag?” Many of the students in class are either teacher trainees or yoga teachers, so we all got a big chuckle out of that. Had to be there?

In learning to fly I have learned that I need to build my upper body strength. I’ve had shoulder injuries in the past, so I am being careful as to how I build up strength without reactivating my left rotator cuff injury from 8 years ago (my shoulder actually froze) and right AC joint about a year ago. I am listening carefully to my body and watching my will. Being the restorative yoga junkie that I am, going to flight school is helping me find balance by getting out of the house with my yoga practice, and trying some new poses on for size. The two practices couldn’t be more polar and by united them, seeking balance, here it comes … Yoga.

I’m having so much fun, even if I’m not actually “flying” in class, I do float out after savasana. I am not yet a frequent flyer of this flight club, but I will be. Um, and this club we can talk about.

April Newsletter

2011-03-30T12:24:00.000-04:00

Healthy Spicy Life

Gluten free quinoa recipe, NYC yogini Julie Dohrman, Asana of the month half lotus pose and more. Happy reading and happy spring!

March Newsletter

2011-03-02T07:43:00.000-05:00

Healthy Spicy Life

Benefits of greens, forearm balance, John Robshaw, The ID Project Building Bridges

5 Tools For Peace, Success, Wealth, Power, Freedom

2011-02-21T19:04:00.000-05:00

Work the yamas!!! Ahinsa, satya, asteya, brahmacharya, aparigraha

The yamas are the external disciplines of yoga lifestyle and also thought of as the five restraints. What fun is that to have restraints? Geez, yoga peeps are just no fun at all! Can’t I just work on touching my toes and call it yoga? If you are reading this then I know that you know that there is more to yoga than just being able to touch your toes. In fact, it doesn’t make one iota of difference to me if you can touch your toes or if you can’t. What perks my ears up and tingles my mind are your thoughts and attitude towards touching your toes. Now we’re talking yoga. There is no guarantee that if you can touch your toes you will live a happier healthier life. However, if you work the yamas, you are at least heading in the direction of living a happier healthier life and a bi-product may be that you eventually touch your toes. And if this day ever happens, you probably won’t remember why it was such a big deal to begin with.

Please give a warm welcome to the Yamas! ahinsa, satya, asteya, brahmacharya, aparigraha.

So exotic! Yes, be intrigued. If you work the yamas the way Gisel works a bathing suit or for my benefit (putting bramacharya on the side for a sec) the way Jack White works a guitar, your life will change. How you can change your life is to work on your karma (this is a whole other discussion, but I leave you in the good hands of Dr. Miles Neale). You can work on your karma via the yamas. Recognizing when you are straying from a yama or practicing a yama is the key here. The results of practicing the yamas are peace, success, wealth, power, and freedom.

Mr. Jack White working his guitar during a phenomenal show with Wanda Jackson. I felt creepy looking at photos of Gisele and don't have any personal ones, so, sorry no bikini babe for this post.

First on the list is ahinsa (non-violence).

The obvious aspect of not harming is of course the physical act of violence and the intention to hurt another sentient being. You starting hearing this from the get go, “Tommy, don’t hit your baby sister, it’s not nice.” Going deeper with ahinsa are harmful thoughts towards self and other. “I am not good at anything.” “She looks fat in that dress.” People have these kind of thoughts all of the time. Abide by ahinsa and you cultivate peace. When a society is grounded in nonviolence an atmosphere is created where others can let go of their hostility.

Would you like to be successful? Satya

There are many different ways to define and view success. For instance, how about reaching a goal or to have a favorable outcome? When you practice the second yama, satya, translated as truthfulness, the outcome is success. Geshe Michael Roach translates Patanjali’s Sutra 2.36 Satya pratishthayam kriya phala shrayatvam – “If you make it a way of life always to tell the truth, then anything you undertake will have a successful result.” The truth is authentic and whole. Much like oatmeal, the truth will set you free.

Number three on the list is asteya (not stealing).

The outcome of not stealing is wealth. Not only should one not take what isn’t freely given to them, there is also the more subtle version of asteya like stealing someone’s time. Yoga is discovering and living the subtleties in what seems obvious. If you want to take your practice of asteya up a notch, you can even think about giving (dana). Generosity breeds wealth. Wealth comes in many forms, not just monetary. Health, happiness, ease of life, joy from simple pleasures are experienced by those who practice asteya.

Brahmacharya, the fourth restraint.

For today’s practitioner, brahmacharya can be viewed as conscious use of sexual energy or restraint from indiscriminant sexual behavior. The texts back in the day flat out said celibacy for yogis. Working this yama in modern times, consider honoring the relationship you are in. If you are engaging in sex, is it a healthy, normal level or are you obsessed and demanding? Obsession about anything is never a good thing. Are you loving and caring with the person you are having sex with? Seems like the obvious answer would be yes, but this is not always so with all the “hooking up” that is happening these days. Are you actually making love or just having sex? When you get brahmacharya figured out, you will have power.

Aparigraha (non possessiveness) is the yama when practiced that will lead you to freedom.

Freedom comes to those who stop wanting and coveting. Not only should you not be greedy, but you can share. To practice aparigraha is to know that you have all that you need. And if you are fortunate enough to have multiple homes, cars, “things”, share them unconditionally. They are only things and meant to be enjoyed. Coveting and desiring only leads to dissatisfaction. “If only I had a new _______, I’d be happy” this is just not true. There is happiness and contentment for you right in this moment if you can see that you have all that you need.

Action = Karma

Write down the 5 yamas and what they mean. Contemplate how you honor and practice the yama and where you can use some work. This is how change happens. Be the changes you want to be. No one else can do this for you. It’s work, hence working the yamas.

February 2011 Newsletter

2011-01-29T08:02:00.002-05:00

Heathy Spicy Life Newsletter

Yummy pomegranates, revolved triangle yoga pose, interview with Chrissy Carter. That's her rockin' a handstand!

Tweaking Seane Corn

2011-01-25T21:25:00.004-05:00


Seane Corn et moi

The Universe has been responding to me lately. I've been working on a few things as usual, and one of them is a pitch for a TV show. I included Seane's organization Off The Mat Into The World in the pitch as reference to the type of organization I would like the show to get involved with. I had never really met Seane before. I've taken a class or two with her oh, 10 to 15 years ago, long before she was was the rock star teacher and yoga representative that she is today.The Universe apparently wanted me to connect with her. Thank you, Universe.

My friend Kate that I did a yoga teacher training with, sent me an email last Friday asking if I was available to be the eyes on Seane Corn for a photo shoot so that the poses are picture perfect. I was flattered, honored, and cleared my schedule. Of course I could and would love to! How wonderful to get to meet Seane one-on-one, and my job was to adjust this knee or that hand with verbal cues much like teaching. Let me say that Seane is picture perfect without my help, but having posed for asana photos myself, I look at them and say if only I'd had a tweaker to adjust this one little thing. I asked Seane if she requested a professional set of eyes on her or if it was Whole Living Magazine's idea. She said she always has someone fine tuning, though let me tell you she knows her body well in these poses as one would suspect. If not for the still life of a photo print, I wouldn't of had to say a word.

I've been on sets many times as talent when I worked on commercials and I've dreamed of being on the cover of any magazine representing yoga. In my 18 years of practice, this is the closest I've come so far. Seane is as beautiful and gracious in person as one would imagine a yogini of her stature to be. I think that I was more floored by her asanas than the crew was. Until you actually try a downward facing dog you have no idea the work that you are asking of your body and breath. Put in a room full of advanced yoga practitioners, I am always in awe. The asana practice is just so beautiful to watch.

After we wrapped, I went home and unrolled my mat. Sean's presence inspired me and revved up my love for yoga, all of yoga. There is so much to learn on the mat that transitions to life off the mat. That's what yoga is about, honoring the divine in self and others.

Adrien Brody Was My Valentine

2011-01-19T21:25:00.007-05:00

reminders on how to cope with

the big-red-heart-shaped-box-full-of-chocolates day

and any day

Soften your heart to what is ...

My best friend of 20 years shares her birthday with that of Saint Valentine. Her birthday had always been a point of contention. Friends would have plans with their Valentines and sometimes men wouldn’t want to take her out for her birthday because it was Valentine’s Day. Before writing this, I asked her how she feels about her birthday now. Her response was, “Neutral - it is my birthday and I am full of love.” This was really nice to hear. In finding the middle path or what I sometimes like to call the Baby Bear in the Three Little Bears – not too soft, not too hard, just right – she was able to let go of the anxiety over her birthday.

Admittedly, I am a bit freakish over remembering dates and occasions. Not in a Marilu Henner kind of way with superior autobiographical memory, but above average. Of course there’s my story, your story, and then what really happened, but for this tale, we are going with my story since I am doing the writing.

Valentine’s Day can be yet another dreaded calendar holiday or not. Pressure to buy a token of admiration for someone can be daunting. What if I’m dating someone that I don’t feel “that way” about, do I get him a gift? What if he gets me something? How you want to deal with Valentine’s Day is all perspective just like any other holiday that the masses celebrate. I used to poo-poo Valentine’s Day as a Hallmark holiday, but it turns out that Esther Howland created the first commercial Valentine’s Day cards in 1840. Huh, so it wasn’t Hallmark after all. Maybe I could soften my perspective and be neutral to February 14^th like my BFF had become.

Show gratitude and give hugs, smiles

or those little candy hearts …

In 1994 I actually had a Valentine and I remember for a few of reasons:

1) Because Adrien Brody was my Valentine.

2) BFF was visiting Los Angeles where I lived at the time. She had a layover while travelling from Australia to NYC.

3) I moved to LA in Nov ’93 and met Adrien within weeks of settling in. He was my roommate’s friend and always crashed at our house. Some girls have all the luck and sometimes they do literally just knock on your door.

Adrien arrived at my house with a bottle of Pinot Noir and a Valentine’s Day card (he commented when he handed the wine to me that he knew I liked Pinot Noir and he was right). How thoughtful. I gave him a star shaped candle embedded with secret little charms. There was no pressure or awkwardness. Just good old fashioned fun Valentine swapping.

One doesn’t need to present a gift on Valentine’s Day or dread the day. February 14^th was chosen as a day to show your love to special people in your life. I am hopeful that all who read this have at least one special person in their life, and if not make that special person yourself. You can smile randomly to people you pass, and do your best to hug someone, too. Bear hugs are great!

Be cool even when others push your buttons ...

We were off to a very good Valentine’s Day celebration. A mutual friend of BFF and mine wanted to take us ladies out and his friend for dinner to celebrate the birthday. Seeing as I had a date, Adrien, I informed the friend that I already had plans and the friend said to bring along whomever I wanted. I invited both Adrien and my roommate because we had all spent the day together, and were having a good time. Six of us met up for what intended to be a festive dinner. I’d rather not relive the gory details of the evening, but let’s just say there was drama and lots of it. The mutual friend had a mean streak of jealousy, got drunk, acted out, and left in a huff. It’s probably a good thing because my Valentine and roommate wanted to set him straight, but they took the high road instead by letting him leave with out further incident.

Special days can evoke drama as we all know, especially when there are red roses and red, heart shaped, boxes filled with chocolates involved. Recognizing all that you have albeit love from a partner, friend or family, is still LOVE. I think my BFF discovered some peace of mind when she surrendered to what is … her birthday is on the same day as St. Valentine. This is something she cannot change so there’s no point in fretting and wishing it to be otherwise. You can relate this philosophy to so many other “problems” we create for ourselves. If you really have a look at your “problem” chances are you are the one who gave yourself the “problem” to begin with. If you slow down enough to see this for yourself (via mind body practices) or slow down enough so that hopefully a really great friend (who does mind body practices) can help you see that you pretty much are the solution to your problems, then your will world shift.

If nothing else live for love …

Pardon me, but my yogini is showing. Connect with the love and light in you that is just pleading to be let loose. Like dancing when no one is watching or singing at the top of your lungs out of key and all. You feel good. You laugh and shine. Suddenly you are a Valentine.

In December I read Jesus, I Love Jews By Angela Raines. I really liked her article and for those of you who read it you may recall that Mr. Brody was listed as the “Bad News Jew” for not being associated with any known eco causes and for having owned a hummer. I wish I could shed some insider light on this, but it was many, many, oh so many year ago that we frolicked. When I knew him, he drove a brown classic Caddie. Maybe not so good with gas, but does that count as vintage and recycling? I know I am grasping at straws and Raines really wanted to give him props, but couldn’t find the support. Adrien was very young when we were hanging out and reflecting on my own journey into having some sort of relationship with the universe, I think I had only one yoga mat at the time and it stayed in my closet mostly. I certainly have grown leaps and bounds in the past 17 years chances are he has, too. Let’s keep our eyes peeled to see if Adrien gets some green/eco causes on his bamboo plate. He is a good egg.

Take it to heart … metta meditation practice

Metta also known as maitri, translates to “loving kindness”. Why not try a 10 minute heart opening practice for Valentine’s Day?

Here’s how:

1) Carve out 10 minutes of your day where you can sit and be still. You may sit on a chair with your feet flat on the floor, spine upright or sit on cushions on the floor if you are able to support your spine and its natural curves. The photo at the top of the red heart is my meditation cushion. You may want to record these instructions to listen to as you are settling into your “seat”.

2) I suggest the app Zen Timer. It has numerous gong sounds, settling in time, journal option, and if you like intermittent gongs during your sit you can program that option.

3) Once sitting, start your timer and use the delay bell setting. Rest the hands on the thighs. Mentally scan your body and feel its presence. Where your legs are. How your seat feels. Shoulders relaxed. Skin on the forehead without expression. Space between the top jaw and bottom jaw. You are coming into the present moment.

4) Any time during your sit, if it feels natural, you may bring a hand to your heart. We feel emotions in our solar plexus where the heart beats, and also in our belly, or gut instinct. They reside very close to each other in our bodies.

5) I use these four thoughts for metta medition:

May I be happy

May I be healthy

May I be safe

May I live with ease

Focus the mind on the first thought, “May I be happy” for a couple of minutes. Then let that thought go and focus on the second thought, etc. The time will go way faster that you ever imagined. If you can set aside more than 10 minutes, the next step is after you have wished loving kindness for yourself, choose a loved one to wish metta thoughts to. Eg: May you (fill in the name) be happy, may you be healthy, etc.

Thoughts other than what you are focusing on will arise. When this happens, and it will, as you notice the thought label it thinking and let it go. Gently take your mind back to the phrase you were focusing on. Please be light with the mind voice and kind to your self. Flogging is not part of the practice.

6) When the gong chimes, you may like to acknowledge your practice by bringing the hands together at the heart and bowing.

7) That’s it!

If you are interesting in learning more about meditation, I suggest finding a teacher or a mentor. The Interdependence Project based in NYC, has chapters throughout the country and pod casts accessible to all!

Namaste.

Heart Broken Open

2011-01-03T22:42:00.000-05:00

Smiling with tears

Swimming without fear

Laughing in the morning blizzard

Electric love

First cries

Last sighs

A kiss that takes your breath away

Feel another’s heart beating

Touch the sunlight on a freckle

Hands clawing like the flicker of a flame

Every pore opens

Prolong desire

Everything ends

Stay open

The ride is not black and white

There is much to learn in the grey

When a heart is broken open

Love is devotion

Selfless affection

Om namah shivaya

Namaste

Get Your Juices Flowing

2010-10-17T21:00:00.006-04:00

I’ve taken to seasonal juice fasts. They seem to fall in step with paying quarterly taxes and checking in with my sex life. I can now cross “Fall ’10 cleanse”, “Third quarter ‘10 tax payment”, and gratefully, “October good lovin’”, off my fictional list. Yes, I am disciplined with my life in many aspects; what I eat, what I drink, the people I spend time with, my yoga practice, my meditation practice, working with clients, working out, leisure time, pleasure time and paying attention to my desires.

Juice fasting has been a part of my health regime for 12 years. My first attempt at consuming only juice for what I hoped to be a 5 day fast lasted only 3 days and was a nightmare. I didn’t follow a program about prepping or breaking a fast. Basically, I borrowed my friend Josh’s juicer, bought a whole bunch of organic veggies and fruits and started juicing calling it “Day 1” of my juice fast. What I learned the most about my virgin juicing experience is this … DO NOT GO TO THE MOVIES AND EAT POPCORN WHEN YOU HAVE NOT EATEN FOOD FOR THREE DAYS.

The overwhelming smell of buttered popcorn got the best of me and I rationalized with my friend, Rich, who suggested going to the movies, that popcorn was a vegetable and if I chewed it well it would liquidize in my mouth and essentially be corn juice. And of course, butter was already liquid, so that wouldn’t be an issue. I plowed through my small bag of popcorn watching Scream without incident. The movie was great as we all know, but basically I Roto-Routered my stomach leaving me with my own horror movie to contend with later that night.

I had read to take it easy during a juice fast; light yoga, go for walks, read books, no TV (so you don’t see food commercials which at the time I had two running nationally and always like to see my paycheck when it aired). Going to a movie didn’t seem like a bad idea, it’s not a restaurant with tempting food. I’d forgotten about the popcorn. Popcorn is not food in my book, but the aroma of fresh popped corn goes hand in hand with a movie. Being my first juice fast, and proud that I had lasted 3 days, I said enough is enough and broke my fast.

If shooting pains in my stomach, fever and sweating profusely are any indication that I had screwed up, then duly noted. I poisoned myself with popcorn. This was a huge lesson to me and I warn those who are doing a juice fast for the first time or are seasoned fasters, ease your way in and out of the fast. There is so much accessible information out there now on juicing and fasting and how to do it properly, I suggest reading as much as you can before taking your first juicing journey. I suggest a couple of days before juicing, eat vegan or raw, and DON'T eat a huge meal the night before as a “last meal”. Ease your way back into food when you are ready to eat solid foods again. Start with vegetable soup like a vegan butternut squash soup or a vegetable soup. Eating fruit on its own is good too. I love to have a chia seed pudding to break a fast with. Yum!!! Raw foods are great, but chew, chew, chew your food well and small amounts at a time. Go easy on spices. In fact, I avoid spices for a couple of days other than pinches of sea salt. Take your time and you will be fine. When breaking a fast over ten days, a good rule of thumb is that the break-in period should be extended one day for every 4 days of fasting. If you do intend to do a juice fast or any fast for that matter, please seek advice and guidance so that you don’t do more damage than good.

Thankfully I have come a long way from that first botched juice fast. I just completed a 5 day cleanse - 3 days of juice fasting followed by 2 days of juicing until dinner - dinner being raw salads from one of my favorite NYC raw food spots, One Lucky Duck. I personally like to include almond milks during my juice fasts for the fats and I also have lots of coconut water/coconut meat smoothies. Because I am a seasoned juice faster, I choose my own combinations of bottled greens, fruits, and nut milks. I don’t fast for weight management. I fast for cleansing, detoxing, boosting my immune system, and it just feels great! My self-prescribed selection of liquid goodness from One Lucky Duck included the bottled Norwalk pressed juices and fresh raw almond milk (TO DIE FOR). To save money (juice fasts are expensive) I buy Tai young coconuts and blend my concoctions at home by adding in different combinations of the following: cacoa, cacoa nibs, ginger, vanilla powder, mint leaf, blueberries, flax seed, chia seed, etc. basically whatever I am in the mood for. I drink lots of water, too.

Carving out the time for a juice fast can be tricky. I wouldn’t plan any lunches or dinners. Permit yourself to take it easy. Your body will be living off fewer calories so do less. Try some restorative yoga or go for a walk instead of a run. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself feeling light and sexy. Healthy is sexy after all.

Sad Joy

2010-09-15T15:57:00.004-04:00

The sun has found new angles to stream into my bedroom. This means a new season is on its way. I live in a ground floor apartment which is located in the back of the building with windows that view a quiet courtyard. As fall approaches the sun is lower in the sky and the sun’s rays have a chance to poke through the two narrow slots on either side of the building across from the courtyard. I never do get a whole lot of sunlight in my apartment, but as the cold weather approaches the light gets less and less. When it does find its way into my bedroom, I know that my room was graced with warmth and life even when I am not there. There is something sad and joyful in the change of season. We let go of hot sticky nights, warm toes in the sand, cold watermelon dripping down our chins. We welcome layering sweaters, steamy bowls of soup, red noses from running outside in the foliage.

I spent the last week of August in Red Feather Lakes, CO about 2 hours northwest of Denver attending a meditation retreat with Acharyas Pema Chodron, Gaylon Ferguson, and Adam Lobel. When I arrived it was as hot as summer could get and by the last day, September 1, the temperature was in the low 60s. As we said our goodbyes to each other that fresh sunny morning, there was a palpable sad joy in us.

Ani Pema Chodron spoke about sad joy. She explained that joy comes after sadness. We need to go through the sad part gently, awake, and present which then allows the heart to break open. From the open heart the joy flows out. This is how we cultivate a tender heart. She reminded us that if we skip this process, joy is brittle and full of fear.

When we soften our attitude or position we cultivate a tender heart. We become less fixed on having things turn out our way and begin to open to uncertainty. It’s this softness that gives us courage and strength, not tights fists and absolutes. Sad joy is goodbyes and hellos, winning and losing, deaths and births. This is the beauty of being alive, laughing until you cry or crying until you laugh.

We become open to the tender heart through the process of meditation, sitting quietly and still, observing the breath, training the mind. It’s no picnic or day at the beach, but the benefits are beyond words. Two weeks after my return, I am feeling the bliss from this concentrated and disciplined time I spent on my cushion. I kept waiting to write about my experience until it felt organic. I feel different. Many years of 20 minutes here, 30 minutes there on my cushion has added up like money in the bank of freedom. Not monetary freedom, but freedom from a cluttered confused mind allowing for space and clarity. I know that I can’t hold onto to this state of being as this is fluid, too. There is sad joy in everything.

Check out my @constantcontact newsletter

2010-09-06T12:30:00.000-04:00

Check out my @constantcontact newsletter

Time Out From Me?

2010-07-29T12:45:00.008-04:00

I found myself saying I need to take a time out from being Kim Stetz. Brief as the time out was, I wasn’t really sure what to expect when I came up with the idea. What would I do for “x” amount of time not being me? I like me just sometimes I think I am a bit much even for … me. Last week a new comer in my life told me that I am “intense”. He said he wasn’t quite sure in what way, but intense nonetheless. I took it as a compliment. I spend most of my time, day in and day out, helping others by teaching yoga and health coaching. When I am not doing that, I am working on myself so that I have the strength, courage, and insight to help others. After all, we are all here to serve.

This brief time out I was seeking, I equated to the space after meditation when the bell chimes and you let go of the mantra or the technique, and sit for a few moments without purpose or intention. That space. That was the time out from me that I desired. I wanted to part from myself, briefly and not too far away, kind of like if I was a daemon in The Golden Compass. Daemons are part of the soul in this Sci-Fi tale. The daemon co-exists with the human and is forever changing until the human reaches puberty. The daemon then fixes on a particular animal, which best reflects the personality of the adult human. The human cannot live without the daemon and vice versa. I haven’t figured out what my daemon would be if I were in this Sci-Fi tale, but I love the idea of having some kind of creature as our other half of our soul.

I wanted to be this fictional daemon and push the boundaries to see how far away I could get from myself without hurting. Trying to escape one self doesn’t work especially if you’ve read The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chodron, oh, probably 100 times. What could I do for ten minutes that didn’t have a purpose or meaning? Surely there are plenty of things to do; after all, it’s just me that I was looking to take a time out from. I am not the President for God’s sake.

Dancing around my apartment with the music quite loud seems to loosen the vice grip on my brain. Dancing makes me laugh and lighten up. Of course, this is not an escape from me, it is me, dancing, laughing and having a great time. I tapped into the lighter version of me, but nonetheless still me. My fictional daemon was having a great time, too. She couldn’t escape me either.

Check out my @constantcontact newsletter archive

2010-06-13T16:30:00.000-04:00

Check out my @constantcontact newsletter archive

Heart-Opening Language

2010-05-16T17:10:00.007-04:00

Dear Reader,

Twice within a week I found myself in conversations with two different friends who seemed to be suffering from the same situation. They were caught in the thoughts of thinking that another person is responsible for their happiness or their woes. Some friends that I speak with will understand what I am saying when I explain that what they are feeling has nothing to do with the actions of other people and everything to do with themselves. Just as some friends that I speak with won’t have the faintest idea of what I am talking about as if I am speaking a foreign language. With this experience in mind, it got me thinking that what I am saying will seem like a foreign language if you don’t speak “heart-opening” language. This language can seem hippy-drippy and Kum Bah Ya-ish, but really it is a language filled with heart felt advice, compassion, and words that can and will heal your soul. The trick is to be open and put your fears aside. You know when you hear it, whether you speak it or not. It's kind of like walking past people in a conversation and they are speaking Spanish or at least you recognize it as Spanish even if you don’t speak Spanish. With heart-opening language, you expect to hear it in a yoga class, or a dharma talk. But what about just walking down the street and your ear catches this, “You don’t need someone to apologize to you in order to forgive them. You can forgive them all on your own, AND you don’t even have to tell them that they are forgiven.” To some that makes perfectly good sense, to others it’s not so easy to wrap their head around and that’s okay, too. The more one is exposed to people who embrace this way of communicating from the heart, the more likely their own heart will open to this language. Forgiveness is big in heart-opening speak. Really big. I am not so good at remembering quotes from movies or books, but the opening paragraph, Chapter One, of Shantaram, by Gregory David Roberts has stuck with me for the past five years.

It took me a long time and most of the world to learn what I know about love and fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while I was chained to a wall and being tortured. I realized, somehow, through the screaming in my mind, that even in that shackled, bloody helplessness, I was still free: free to hate the men who were torturing me, or to forgive them. It doesn’t sound like much, I know. But in the flinch and bite of the chain, when it’s all you’ve got, that freedom is a universe of possibility. And the choice you make, between hating and forgiving, can become the story of your life.

With that opening paragraph, I was in. I was into forgiveness, I was into traveling through India with the author’s words and his incredible journey. I was into reading the next 930 pages of Shantaram. Perhaps that opening paragraph has inspired you to put it on your Kindle or iPad, or head to your local book store or find it on Amazon. Or maybe you said, “What’s that got to do with anything?” or maybe you’re indifferent. There are many other responses too, I was just rattling off the top of my head.

I offer the concept of forgiveness if you are feeling stuck in an emotion and holding on to anger or fear of letting go of that anger. Sit in a quiet place and take a few full breaths in and out. Notice how you feel. If you want to work with anger, practice connecting with that angry feeling and breathe with it. Notice the story that is going on in your head and then stop repeating the story in your head - it’s just a story. The more you tell it, the more power you give that story. Instead of recounting the story that pissed you off in the first place, practice connecting with the breath, notice the inhalation and the exhalation, and keep letting go of the story. Guess what is going to happen? The anger will go away. You will soften. You will have created space for forgiveness. Next, with each breath forgive yourself for getting angry with yourself. Maybe with some practice you will open the door to forgive someone who you feel has wronged you as well as opening the door to learning heart-opening language.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

A Real SEAL

2010-04-14T17:31:00.020-04:00

Dear Reader,

In a million years I never thought I would be writing that I met a war hero. This entry was supposed to be about whether or not to throw home made banana bread out after one finds a humongous, antennae flailing, roach taking a steam bath in the freshly baked loaf. After hemming and hawing and a few, "NOOOOs!!!" I did throw the bread out much to the chagrin of a few of my dog owner friends. Apparently dog owners go beyond the 5 second rule when it comes to considering something consumable or not. Someone even suggested that I should have popped it back in the oven. Maybe he was right.

Navy SEAL, Marcus Luttrell, attended a lunch in NYC on Tuesday afternoon, April 13th. I had never heard of this man until about 2 weeks ago when a friend from yesteryear, as in grade school, contacted me. I remembered this friend fondly. There was a group of us that banded together playing kick ball, dodge ball, after school parties, and well, first attempts at spin the bottle. Of course there were the chosen ones that the girls hoped the bottle would land on and this friend was one of them. I also remember him being kind with the dodge ball by not whipping it at the girls as hard as a boy can. Anyone remember those mean boys? Enough to make anyone "sick" for gym class. He lived on the base, Plattsburgh Air Force base. The base kids were transient, and the townies always seemed to welcome them. I was actually a new kid on the block at the time having just transplanted from Co-Op City, Bronx, NY. We shared two years as grade school friends. His family relocated before Middle School years. That adorable blue eyed boy moved and I had not heard from him in 30 years ... and then there's Face Book. What a shock to see his name on my Fan Page! After a few back and forth notes, I assessed he didn't seem like a stalker or energy drainer, he said he was happily married for 15 years, has 4 children, and seems to have had a successful career. I have "friended" others with less credentials than his, so new FB friends we are. He asked me if I had heard of Marcus Luttrell and I said that I had not.

I am a curious person, so I Googled him. Marcus recently penned a memoir, "Lone Survivor... The Eyewitness Account of Operation Redwing and the Lost Heroes of SEAL Team 10". Recently I saw an expose on 60 Minutes about Green Berets and the crazy life they live protecting us Americans. Apparently, Navy SEALs are the elite of the elite and some start training as early as 14 years old as Marcus had. Marcus is one bad ass dude. As the title of his book states, he is the lone survivor of his team and he barely survived at that. I am reading the book now only after meeting Marcus at the lunch. In brief, he is a courageous and gracious man. The lunch was organized by a fan, no PR people in charge. He arrived early with his super friendly, playful lab, Rigby, at his side. No celebrity bull with this man. A smile for everyone, but not a fake, I- am-here-doing-my-job smile. In between the book signings, hand shakes, and listening to the stories of what brought each person to this lunch gathering, I could feel his genuine gratitude for his life and what he has endured. Of course his physical presence can't be missed. I am guessing he is 6'4" and about 225 lbs. More than diving into a situation, I like to observe from the side lines. The fans were extremely respectful not wanting to bombard their hero, yet wanting to share a story, ask for an autograph or a picture. He obliged one after the other. The care taker in me thought Marcus must be thirsty. I asked the bartender for a glass of water, no ice, and made my way to Marcus. Really, isn't that what it's all about, looking out for others, getting out of the "me" plan to serve others? This is what we do as yoga teachers, we serve. He serves out country, the least I can do is offer some water. That was my moment with Marcus. Seeing how I could help him. Yes, he had already signed my book and posed with me for a photo, but I was glad that I had thought of something so simple to help him, and he thanked me. This is gratitude, mindfulness and awareness all rolled into one. Give and receive. I enjoyed the lunch with about 40 others, Marcus joined each table at some point during the meal to socialize with everyone. Terrific day, made new friends, and met a real live hero. I am thankful to Marcus and all of those who serve and protect this amazing country we live in. I am also thankful to my grade school friend who reached out, said hello, and asked me to attend the lunch on his behalf.

Thanks for reading,

Kim

The Soft Spot

2010-03-29T17:26:00.008-04:00

Dear Reader,

I have something for you to chew on. Pema Chodron wrote, "No lasting happiness comes from being caught in this cycle of attraction and aversion. We can never get life to work out so that we eliminate everything we fear and end up with all the goodies."

Well, that's no fun now is it? The habitual predicament that humans are caught up in is to want only good things to happen and not bad. Of course we don't want bad things to happen, but wouldn't it be better to accept that they will happen? Just as good things will happen. That's the balance of life. The point being as long as we are caught in the paired extremes of praise and blame, hope and fear, pleasure and pain, fame and disgrace, you can't have one without the other. Just like you can't know hot without cold, you can't know calm without chaos. If we are to live a more balanced life, the effort is to not get caught up in the extremes. This is where the term equanimity comes into play. Cultivating equanimity takes work. First thing that has to happen is to actually notice when you are being negative or holding on so tightly to a concept. Second, take a breath or two so that the awareness becomes mindful. Awareness is like the sudden interruption of the door bell or a dog bark. Awareness interrupts the brain and says "Yo, something's up". Mindfulness is actually deciphering what to do with the awareness. Mindfulness is the action. Third, don't separate yourself and think, "Only bad things happen to me". This clearly is not true. All humans know pain just as we all know pleasure. The way to cultivate equanimity is to stay in the soft spot if you will. It's not rigid and fixed. There's movement to go either way. You meditators out there know this and that's one of the benefits of the practice. We peel away the layers of protection to become more vulnerable, heart open souls. Some of you may say, "That's exactly why I don't meditate. I like and need my armor." Unless you are going off to war, leave your armor in a footlocker.

I am not sure how possible it is to live in our capricious world and not get caught up with hopes and fears unless you are a cave dwelling monk. However, all is not lost. We can work on coming more toward the center so as not to experience such extremes in our reactions. You may be saying, well that's just me, part of my personality. Um, not really. The jury is out and you actually can teach an old dog new tricks. Of course that old dog has to be willing. Our habits are just that, habits. You form them, you ingrain them and you can get rid of them too. Think of a habit as a muscle that has worked out a lot. If the habit is undesirable, try giving that muscle a rest and exercise some new muscles. I guarantee you if you dedicate as much mindfulness to your new, hopefully productive habit as you did to your old one, you will succeed. Awareness is key to staying in the soft spot. Connecting that you, just like everyone else, gets caught up in the cycle of pain and pleasure. We are all in the same boat. This is an incredibly insightful tool towards equanimity. Takes the edge off if you will.

Reader: Ooh, that Kim is talking about mindfulness and awareness ... I have no idea what she is talking about.

Kim: Sure you do. You just need to be aware and mindful of your thoughts.

'Til next time,

Kim

P.S. Full moon on the 30th. Free gift giving when you share the moon!

She's Back

2010-03-24T15:23:00.010-04:00

Now, where were we?

Just kidding. It has been 3 years since I've penned a blog and I am excited to start another. The Rules, Really? I wrote in '07 (so last decade). TRR? chronicled my dating life in search for Mr. Right while using The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherri Schnieder to help guide me through the process. As I suspected, I am not a Rules kind of girl, but it was fun to see all the things I was not doing by the book. Take note, the authors are both divorced, so what do they know? How to get married so that they can eventually get a divorce because it was all about the ring to start with? I can go on and on about that, but I won't.

I am not picking up where Sabine (my pen name) left off. Fun as that was, I now hope to capture your attention with the scintillating here and now. We can go anywhere with that, right? Ah, the present moment. Oh, here comes another present moment. And another. Wow, they just keep coming. How do we keep up with the present moment? It's impossible to hold on to, try as you might, you will fail. The best advice is to let go. You've heard that one before most certainly if you've been to yoga class (you have to go to more than one unless you caught the teacher on a "let go" theme day). If you've attended lead meditation sessions, the teacher will instruct to "let go of the thought and come back to the breath". Look at all that letting go we are supposed to be doing, but yet we catch ourselves clinging so tightly. What's with the holding on, people? What's fascinating is that not only do we want to hold onto the good stuff, but for some reason we want to cling to the bad as well. Notice the next time someone does something you didn't like or the "wrong" way according to ... you ... and how many people you tell that story to. In retelling the story you are perpetuating the negativity and holding onto the bad stuff. Same goes for the good stuff. We all want to have something to talk about, we are social beings after all. Why not try a conversation with what is happening in the present moment? That's usually pretty good stuff right there. The idea here is to keep coming back to the present moment good, bad, or even keeled. The more you practice this, you will find life is pretty darn sweet. For the most part, we don't have guns to our heads, knives at our throats, or lions chasing us. I did say for the most part. Some of you may consider a big fat rat scurrying on the subway tracks as heart palpitating as if that rat were a lion. It's all perspective. You can blow up over getting the wrong latte order or take a breath and ask for a do-over with a smile. Thank goodness for do-overs! Human beings are precisely that, human, not robots. Never forget that and remind others.

Healthy Spicy Life will be about just that. Kim, the yoga teacher, health coach, who is dating, living, and learning about life while sharing my experiences. Fear not, Sabine will have lots to say. Please feel free to add comments as I like to include them in blogs.

Peace, Kim